Chasing Illusion

first draft of Chasing Illusion

I started this piece with the thought that it would compliment my previous piece Chasing Truth.  In my life there have been several times when I have bought into the fantasy of something only to realize later that the reality was simply cloaked in illusion.  These realizations can be very painful, but I learn from them every time.

The evil eye here was meant to symbolize a prayer for protection from illusion.  However, I didn’t like the cartoonish aspect of the eye.  Nothing about it spoke to me.  So I tore it apart and searched deeper.

I finally decided to keep the leaves from the evil eye idea, but to make them black.  This shows the obscure nature of the fantasy.  The feeling were beginning to show themselves in the tesserae.

The final design is of a black, eye-like pool that is blooming from black leaves.  It is mysterious and inviting.  Beautiful in a dangerous way.  Exactly what so many of us pursue in search of excitement, happiness, love.

This flower will sit atop a three dimensional heart depicting a man walking backwards while carrying his body sideways.  The heart will be barbed with black spikes.  I’m trying hard not to get hurt while working on this one!

In many ways this particular piece, along with it’s sister piece Chasing Truth, embodies my life right now.  This may be the single most painful season in my adult life and I am so grateful to have a place to put the pain, the fear, the love, and the hope.

We can never know in what form miracles will grace our lives.  Sometimes they hurt.  Sometimes they rip our hearts out.  But they are still miracles; opportunities for growth and love.